I can't believe my parents have consented for me to write my own blog (well, I can't write but I can dictate to my invisible friend, who can!) This not being able to write stuff is one of the negatives of being a dog, but in this dog-eat-dog world, ya gotta adapt. I haven't figured out what to do with things I see on the ground and would like to keep--I don't have pockets nor do I have thumbs to pick things up, so I guess I'll just keep mulling those things over between naps.
Yesterday I had a really bad day. First, I snuck next door to see if the cat was out. It was and it was hiding in the bushes. I charged right in and found out why dogs don't like cats. I thought I had long fingernails and fierce teeth!
One of my ears is itchy as all get out so mom's been trying to put her favorite home remedy, vinegar, in it. I saw her coming so I headed off under dad's bed to hide, but she caught me. To add insult to injury, my bladder chose that moment to let loose. Now dad keeps his bedroom door shut all the time, so I don't get to hide my toys under it.
Today, I got all excited when mom asked me if I wanted to go for a ride. Ride?! Well, duh! Of course I wanted to go for a ride! I was sitting up proudly looking out the front window in case any dogs were looking, and all of a sudden she pulled the truck right into the jailhouse! I scampered right into the back seat and tried to hide; I did NOT want to go back to jail. I prayed that my bladder would hand tough.
It seems like it was just days ago that she took me there and left me! I was in the wire cell on a cold cement floor for an eternity for a crime I did not commit. I don't even know what the charges were, but I know I was innocent. Just look into my eyes and you'll see for yourself. They gave me a bed, which came from home, and dishes, that came from home, and offered the same dog food I get at home. Hmmm. Preplanned, me thinks.
Eventually, mom came and got me and I thought I'd seen the end of that place, and when mom pulled in to the jail driveway, my past flashed through my single brain cell. I was doomed. She had to carry me in because there was no way I was going in there under my own power. I remembered the same nice ladies that petted me and visited me, but I kept myself right under mom's legs. I was not going down without a fight.
Mom took me into a room I hadn't seen before and put me on the table. Yes, you heard that right, she PUT me on the table. That's a real no-no at home but everybody seemed fine with it. This pretty woman came in and petted me and got a little too personal, but I have seen shows on TV that do that right before they put you in the slammer, and it was over in a flash. Then she felt my ears and scratched them in a way that actually felt good--she could reach the real itchy spot inside. She left the room and came back to tell mom I had the good fortune of having both a yeast and a bacterial infection. Personally, I didn't think that was all that good, but, whatever. I don't have to understand everything.
So, the good part was that I didn't have to stay in jail! I was so happy to get back outside into the fresh air and man, did I ever have to pee! I'm so glad my bladder didn't let go all over the pretty lady; I don't think it would have made her quite so friendly with me if I ever have to come back.
Uh oh. It looks like mom is headed this way with AARRGGH!!!! Medicine!
Yesterday I had a really bad day. First, I snuck next door to see if the cat was out. It was and it was hiding in the bushes. I charged right in and found out why dogs don't like cats. I thought I had long fingernails and fierce teeth!
One of my ears is itchy as all get out so mom's been trying to put her favorite home remedy, vinegar, in it. I saw her coming so I headed off under dad's bed to hide, but she caught me. To add insult to injury, my bladder chose that moment to let loose. Now dad keeps his bedroom door shut all the time, so I don't get to hide my toys under it.
Today, I got all excited when mom asked me if I wanted to go for a ride. Ride?! Well, duh! Of course I wanted to go for a ride! I was sitting up proudly looking out the front window in case any dogs were looking, and all of a sudden she pulled the truck right into the jailhouse! I scampered right into the back seat and tried to hide; I did NOT want to go back to jail. I prayed that my bladder would hand tough.
It seems like it was just days ago that she took me there and left me! I was in the wire cell on a cold cement floor for an eternity for a crime I did not commit. I don't even know what the charges were, but I know I was innocent. Just look into my eyes and you'll see for yourself. They gave me a bed, which came from home, and dishes, that came from home, and offered the same dog food I get at home. Hmmm. Preplanned, me thinks.
Eventually, mom came and got me and I thought I'd seen the end of that place, and when mom pulled in to the jail driveway, my past flashed through my single brain cell. I was doomed. She had to carry me in because there was no way I was going in there under my own power. I remembered the same nice ladies that petted me and visited me, but I kept myself right under mom's legs. I was not going down without a fight.
Mom took me into a room I hadn't seen before and put me on the table. Yes, you heard that right, she PUT me on the table. That's a real no-no at home but everybody seemed fine with it. This pretty woman came in and petted me and got a little too personal, but I have seen shows on TV that do that right before they put you in the slammer, and it was over in a flash. Then she felt my ears and scratched them in a way that actually felt good--she could reach the real itchy spot inside. She left the room and came back to tell mom I had the good fortune of having both a yeast and a bacterial infection. Personally, I didn't think that was all that good, but, whatever. I don't have to understand everything.
So, the good part was that I didn't have to stay in jail! I was so happy to get back outside into the fresh air and man, did I ever have to pee! I'm so glad my bladder didn't let go all over the pretty lady; I don't think it would have made her quite so friendly with me if I ever have to come back.
Uh oh. It looks like mom is headed this way with AARRGGH!!!! Medicine!
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